//overheard at uvic

guy: well she's a scorpio, and i'm an aries, so you can only imagine how awkward that conversation will be...

sure thing buddy...

//the circus has come to town

so today...
i saw a girl who's middle toe was the biggest out of all of them. i then was passed by a lengthy, blonde, '80s hair metal mullet, and not 30 seconds later, a walking unibrow went by.

what is wrong with people at uvic??

//corpse breath v.2

for the last two christmases my sister has dogsat this little white ball of fluff named Freddy. Freddy's pretty bitchin', except that he's got the stank breath of a well decomposed corpse.
today, i experienced a wind far worse than Freddy - the foul mouth of my prof.
death-stank breath does not even begin to describe it.
so potent, that even in the desperate resort of mouth breathing, i could taste it. a truly eye watering experience.
might i suggest a tic-tac?

//may experience some UV exposure.

i had my first go in a tanning bed today. it was a stand up bed to be precise. after slathering myself with what was apparently coconut scented lotion (coconut seeped in bleach and turpentine, maybe) and strapping on the vision destroying "goggles," i bumped around, using my bat-skill sonar to position myself in the tiny, soon to be, wind tunnel. as instructed, i positioned my heels on the strips of ungrated floor, hit "go" and closed the door. thus commenced the wind tunnel. not thinking, i left the towel on the rack on the door. it then proceeded to launch off the rack and take flight around the box. in my goggle blinded state i was discombobulated as i was repeatedly bitch slapped by my white cotton assailant. i was finally able to wrestle it down to the ground and pin it beneath my foot. however, it continued to beat my ankle as i dangled from the two ceiling mounted handles, trying to find the best position to evenly tan my pasty white ass.

the wind tunnel and uv lights (which were actually blue) finally cut out and i was left as a disheveled, frazzled, lotion slathered mess. i unlubed myself and quickly dressed, shamed with my failure as a towel wrestler.

i figure i have another 17 minutes in the bed, so the next time will hopefully be more successful.
wish me luck.

//exhaustion does not look good on me.

it's midterm season. it's also inconvenient work schedule season. my boss likes to schedule me for the nights before my midterms, and clever girl that i am, i don't clue into the fact until the morning before the test.
i need to start booking time off to study.
i have two midterms done, (english and psyc) and one more to go (greek&roman) but i also have a journalism article due on thursday, which i haven't started and have no idea what to write on.

journalism is apparently my chosen career, but at the moment, i hate it.
psyc seems to be where it's at.
indecisive people should not be allowed in university...

but on the bright side, i recently learned that the library is home to a mystical school supplies dispensing vending machine. this pretty much blew my mind. wite-out, pencils, blank cds, the whole nine. i don't know how i've gone 5 months with this not being brought to my attention.

*J: I'll try and make my life more interesting for your reading pleasure. uvic is no italy.